I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
nutella sex= disaster
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize