that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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