Who did Billy Mays play for?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
