Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
