I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm going to jail i love you
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
