I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
