sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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