ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
not ubering you a puppy
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
