pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This baby is an asshole
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
