Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
