my sisters under your porch take her home
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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