I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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