Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
