Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
