Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
