I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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