Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
