Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
