just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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