can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
