community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
