I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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