I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
