So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he fucked my hip out of place.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
