Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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