Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
