Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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