I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
