i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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