my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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