It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
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It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
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don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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