i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
