I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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