So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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