Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
