Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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