Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
