Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
