if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
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