I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
