While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize