He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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