i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Drake has all the answers
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
