she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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