WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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