Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
