You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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