Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
