i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
