Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
