Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize