I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
