Small penises have feelings too.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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