please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
