Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
