I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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